I have been travelling across Canada on my insurance tour this past week creating endless insurance memories across our great nation. Maybe I’ll do some “behind the scenes” documentary on how it all comes together so fans can get a glimpse of me drinking my hotel room coffee and pouring over my seminar notes before my “shows”.
Anyways, here are some of the questions I’ve been pondering that came up during my tour.
· What is up with airport security frequently going through my purse and then pulling out the feminine hygiene products? When this happens, why is there always a male (looking uncomfortable at the sight of these products) beside me? Is the security staff worried these products are part of a terrorist plot?
· What is with the small size of the airport bathroom stalls? How are you supposed to fit yourself and the luggage inside the stall? As a high maintenance, insurance diva, I have a lot of luggage so going to the washroom can be quite challenging at times.
· And what is up with people talking on the cell phones when on the toilet? Am I the only one who finds that bewildering? Am I just too old fashioned and believe when you’re going #1 or #2 you shouldn’t be on the phone?
· Why is flushing the toilet so daunting to some people that they don’t do it in public washrooms?
· Can we all just agree that paper towels in the public washrooms are better than the hand dryers which either take forever to dry or the ones that are so powerful they almost blow the skin off your hands! (Can you tell that I’ve been in a lot of public washrooms lately?).
· 60 year olds making out and groping each other while standing outside their cars in rest areas on the highway: disturbing.
· Why aren’t Canadian Insurance or Canadian Underwriter magazines on the news stands in all Canadian airports? Because of this, people in airports resort to buying People and US Weekly and are forced to look at pictures of beautiful people leading lavish lives. It’s really quite tragic. What Canadians really want to read at the airport is a magazine which has spellbinding articles about such things as line records for boiler and machinery as well as how an I.I.I. study shows dog bite claims topped $400 Million in 2009 (note: I have no idea what I.I.I. stands for…I’m thinking one of the “I”s is for Insurance?). Lindsay Lohan’s legal plight cannot compete with the public’s demand for this mesmerizing information!
What is with people driving on the highway with the "Baby on Board" signs? I have never been able to figure out why people buy these signs? Are they saying:
· “You’d better not hit me because I have a baby in the car so if your car happens to careen out of control, for heaven’s sake, have enough sense to hit someone else on the highway whose life isn’t as precious…maybe a teenager or an elderly person…or a baby boomer …but don’t hit a car with a baby you moron.”
· Or are they saying “If you think I’m driving slow it’s only to protect the life of this baby so even though I’m driving so slow that I’m causing traffic chaos for everyone around me that’s OK because I have a baby in my car so I can do whatever I please. "
· Are these people thinking there’s a possibility a passing motorist will send them a baby shower gift?
These are my musings. Somehow I don’t think these questions arise for Beyoncé and Jay-Z when they are on tour.
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