Drugs in the Air Vents?

The Dull Co-worker, dear readers, has uncovered a huge scandal. This scandal has not been reported in any way shape or form by the media. It will be revealed to you right now as you keep reading.

Here it is. It’s my belief for that many companies pump drugs through the air vents at work. This keeps workers sedated so they don’t look for another job. So many people I know complain they don’t like their job and they don’t do anything about it. They don’t come up with a strategy for gaining employment with Oprah (like I have done). They just sit and complain day after day, month after month and year after year.

Do you know why this is? It’s because these helpless employees are continually in a drug induced stupor which dulls their brains. Scientifically speaking, the drugs deactivate the part of one’s cerebral cortex which thinks “I deserve more than this. This isn’t what my life is supposed to be. I need to get out of here NOW!”

My theory is clearly illustrated in the below diagram:

Because the brain is not functioning the way it was intended, employees continue to work in jobs they don’t like and spend many hours of their week in misery. Their thoughts are limited and they think there are no choices for them to gain employment in what actually interests them.

What happens when people go on vacation and spend a fair amount of time outside of work (i.e. away from the evil influence of the drugs from the air vents), they begin to see their lives differently. They are happier. They have thoughts of doing other things with their lives. They feel free. But soon after their return to work, they forget their hopes and aspirations. They forget because of the drugs!

So although it's important to fight the war on drugs that are on the street negatively impacting the lives of our children, it is important to rise up as a nation and fight the war on drugs in the workplace. Just say no to drugs and yes to the rest of your life.