Unlike fellow blogger, Marion Lawrence who wrote about how jazzed she was being on the cleanse, I am on day four and cannot report the same level of enthusiasm. I'm trying to see this in a positive light like Ms Lawrence.
For any one out there who are thinking of doing a cleanse/de-tox, I recommend the following to put some "fun" in your cleanse (note: I am being extremely sarcastic when I use the word "fun"):
- Trick yourself into thinking herbal tea is a "treat". This takes alot of mental efffort as shown in the complex diagram below.
- Stare at people as they drink their StarBucks. Be careful not to let them see you drool.
- Reflect on the good times in your life...like when you ate cheese. Plan what cheeses you will eat after the cleanse.
- Eat a nut & seed bar (this is another item I have come to think of as a "treat") and contemplate how it strangely resembles bird seed.
- Try not to be bitter with others who are not on a cleanse, especially when they complain about anything....they at least have the joy of eating sugar, gluten and other banned substances....how dare they complain!
- Wonder what is so bad about toxins in your body anyways...I actually quite enjoy them...maybe someone should start a "Toxins for Everyone!" movement.
- Question your sanity for even taking part in such a foolish venture...after all, shouldn't a detox only be for famous celebrities like Charlie Sheen or Lindsay Lohan.
- Think about what you're going to eat as soon as you're done the cleanse...will it be bread, cheese, coffee?
- Contemplate how this blog could have been funny if I had sugar and caffeine in my body.
- Scan the internet for medical studies advocating a "work de-tox/cleanse.
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