DCW's Month of October

October was a busy month for the Dull Co-worker (DCW). Let's recap what I was up to:

On October 2nd, I posted one of my personal favourite blogs, Does Your Desk Need a Makeover...is it wrong that when I reread it, I laugh? What does that say about me? I hope you enjoy it as well and find it inspirational. You too can have a desk that looks like mine...think positive...don't give up...don't be self-critical...it may take some time but you will get there my friend.

This blog inspired me to create the worldwide DCW Desk Makover Contest Extravaganza (note: I love the word "extravaganza" and will use it in whatever context I can...why don't you do the same and see how it can spice up your work emails, meetings, conversations, etc.). This contest is open until November 12th until 1:53pm Eastern Standard Time. Keep sending me your photos! Just because you're reading this and you live in Slovenia, South Korea or Latvia, don't think you can't win. The Dull Co-worker will travel to you if you win this contest.

For those of you who are into Do It Yourself (DIY) projects, you can also check out my Beautiful and Practical Desk Oranization Strategies post. It contains some simple tips to help create a welcoming and warm workspace.

I also noted how my decorating talents have been recognized at my workplace and I have been asked to be the interior designer for our meeting rooms. In my Office Meeting Room Decor post I showcased some of my personal favourite pictures which hang in our meeting rooms.

You can certainly see the theme this month has alot to do with adding ambience to your work environment so that you can have time to get to what's truly important at work. My Effective Email Management Strategies post will also help you manage your workload so you have more time at work to get to important personal emails and surf the internet.

During October, I also mentioned how I have launched some free seminars. Please email me at thedullcoworker@gmail.com if you'd like me to come to your city and speak on any of the seminars listed in the Free Motivational Seminars by the DCW post. For those of you who are in leadership positions, you may want to consider some of the information given in the Creating Ineffective Work Relationships and My Favourite Work Moments posts.

Those are just some of the posts from October. Of course there are others that revealed mice can read (see the Warning! This Blog Contains an Actual Work Email post). Thank you to the person who responded with the comment that my office should just post a "Beware of Cat" sign. I love it and have suggested it to my alliance member who wrote the email.

Thank you to all who have read my blog this month and a big thank you to my friends from Hare Styling and Simply Nature who have inspired me in so many ways.

Effective Email Management Strategies

Fact: email has become the number one communication tool in the workplace. Therefore, it’s not surprising that workers are virtually drowning in a sea of emails every day with no one throwing them a life line. Endless articles are written and courses are taught on how workers can effectively manage their email so they have time to do what’s truly important.

I have read much of the literature and my post today will summarize all the data into some very easy and simple techniques which will help you manage your emails so that you can have more time at work to:

• Check and update Facebook


• Check and update Twitter


• Surf the internet for the latest celebrity news (e.g. keep up to date on whether Lindsay Lohan is in or out of rehab)

Dull Co-worker Email Tips

1. Unsubscribe to any work-related newsletters or advertisers. That will leave more room in your inbox for emails from Banana Republic, Shopper’s Drug Mart and other important shops that are advertising sales.

2. Set aside time to process your work related emails once a day. For example, if you work 9am – 5pm, set aside 4:55pm – 5:00pm to respond to those time-sensitive emails that require an immediate response. This will allow you more time in the day to send emails to friends, keep in touch with family members and make social plans for after work and weekends.

3. Delete the following types of emails:
a. Those you are unable to respond to during the 5 minute scheduled email time
b. Those from people you don’t like
c. Those containing a request from a co-worker who is asking you to do something you don’t want to do
d. Those that require you to compose a response that would require alot of thinking, analyzing, or researching
e. Those that are boring

Office Meeting Room Decor

Since my October 2nd Desk Makeover post, I’ve been approached by the Facilities department at my work place to decorate our meeting rooms. It seems they were impressed with my desk beautification skills and want me to add some zest to these rooms.

Here is what I'm proposing for the meeting room walls:

Perplexing Remarks

My post from October 23rd (How to Make Enemies at Work) got me thinking about other comments people have made. When someone makes a statement, sometimes I'm perplexed on how to respond as I'm not sure if it's a compliment, an insult or just an observation.

Maybe the intention is to give a compliment but the way it's said makes me wonder if it's an insult or just an observation. I hesitate to say "thank you” because then I'd feel foolish if it's not a compliment (case in point, Oct 23 blog).

But then I'm afraid that if the person did intend to give me a compliment and I didn’t thank them, I could be perceived as being rude. Then, I just start feeling annoyed that I'm even in this predicament in the first place.

Here are some examples from my life:

Example #1: "Your hair looks different"

Does this mean “I love your hair” or "I really don't think your hair looks good at all and I can't believe you are walking around with that hairstyle" or “Thank goodness you changed your hair because it looked hideous before” or “I don’t normally check you out this much but now I am and I need your confirmation that you look different than you did yesterday.”

Example #2: "That's a bright coat/dress/shirt"

I never know how to respond to this. What I'd like to say is "Yes, compared to your drab outfit that makes you barely indistinguishable from these gray walls, my outfit is bright.”

Example #3: "Your eyes are really blue"

Did these people have colour recognition issues as children and thus require constant reassurance they can correctly identify colours??? Are they looking me to say "Good job! Yes, the colour is blue not green or brown. Now let's move on to discuss shapes....here is an example of a circle....”

Frightening Work Moment

Do you know what is more frigthening than a horror movie...it's the moment when you willingly turn the radio station at work from Top 40 and rock music to listen to elevator music and 70's easy listening. What's even more scary is that you can passionately defend this to your colleagues, friends and family members who find this alarming.

This can only be explained by my "Drugs In The Air Vent Theory" (DITAVT). See my post from Sept 6th for a detailed account of this highly plausible and completely scientific conspiracy theory.

How to Make Enemies at Work

Actual conversation from my workplace in 1998 between two women I worked with:

Co-worker 1: "That's a nice dress."

Co-worker 2: "Thank you."

Co-worker 1: "But not on you."

Indulge: A Tasty Workplace Recipe

Everyone knows that bringing lunch to work is economical but sometimes it’s hard to know what to make for lunch. Well, the Dull Co-worker has created the perfect meal for you to take to work. Try out this scrumptious and easy recipe for either breakfast or lunch. It’s guaranteed to add zest to anyone’s work day and make your co-workers drool with envy!

Dull and Dreary Inspired Lunch Fiesta

Ingredients

Bread
1 teaspoon butter (room temperature)

Directions

1. Put bread in toaster for approximately 2 minutes or until brownish


2. Top with butter


3. Serve on a plate garnished with a paper towel


4. Enjoy!
   
   

Win a DCW Desk Make Over!

My Does Your Desk Need a Make Over blog (October 2nd), has inspired me to launch a “Win a DCW Desk Make Over Contest Extravaganza!”.

Send a picture of your desk to thedullcoworker@gmail.com and you could win a desk make over by me, the Dull Co-Worker (DCW).

All entries are also eligible for the chance to be featured in my blog. So all of you readers out there around the world, don’t hesitate to send in your pictures.

Contest ends November 12, 2010 at 1:53pm (EST). It is open to all residents of all countries in the world either over or under the age of majority in their province, territory, state or country of residence. One entry per person per email address. No purchase necessary.

Note: A mathematical skill-testing question is not necessary to win because they are quite frankly overused in contests and in school and it makes no logical sense to ask that type of question in this situation. Odds of winning are likely very strong as I don't expect many entries to be received. The winner of the contest must also fly me to their desk location, all expenses paid... and did I mention I'm really high maintenance?

Warning! This Blog Contains an Actual Work Email

In today’s post I will share with you an email that was recently sent to all employees in my company:

Now that the weather is getting cooler, we have seen an increase in the amount of rodent activity within the facility over the last couple of weeks. We are taking steps to control this however, your help is also needed. It is imperative that all employees help by not leaving any food (food trays, cakes etc) out in department common areas or in the kitchens throughout the facility. It is up to each department to ensure that all food is removed from common areas before the end of each day. Also, please do not keep food at your desk. Doing this is tantamount to a written invitation to mice to come to your desk. Whether it is sealed or not, the more food in the desks the greater the chance of having mice at your desk and the more difficult it will become to combat the problem…it is that simple.

So why did I include this in my blog?

1. It's obviously incredibly interesting reading.


2. The writer of the email is in my alliance.


3. It incorporates the highly-underutilized-in-corporate-communications word: “tantamount”. Wow, does that ever take this email to a new level.


4. It lets us know that mice can read! I didn’t know that. As the writer points out, food is a “written invitation to mice.” Did you know that?


5. It has encouraged me to leave notes to the mice on my left over food…
   
   
   

There's No Accounting For Taste...

As I mentioned in my October 2nd post, “Does Your Desk Need a Makeover”, one of my friends at work has a blog on interior design for the home (Hare Styling). Another friend of mine at work has a blog called Simply Nature which is filled with magnificent pictures of landscapes, animals and flowers.

I am often envious of the beauty and striking photos contained in both of these blogs. So, I thought I should share some stunning and elegant photos of the innovative and trendy look of one of our office's workspaces. This is where we keep our accounting department...

My Favourite Work Moments

A brief collection of actual work moments experienced by the Dull Co-Worker (I wish I could say I made these up):

- When someone says your new dress makes you look like you belong on Star Trek. What makes this comment more disturbing is that the person who said this works in I.T. (and I should clearly listen to them because the I.T. department is known for being on the cutting edge of fashion).

(Star Trek dress...not my dress)

- When your company thinks they are doing employees a favour by coming around 5 minutes before you normally leave on the Friday before a long weekend and tell you to all go home early. Thanks.

- When companies do an employee “appreciation” event which requires employees spend a few hours outside in the rain and cold during a Canadian fall. Fun. I feel SO appreciated (note: for those of you who are unaware of the temperatures during a Canadian fall, let's just say it can get rather chilly).

- When a company in an attempt to show employees how much they care about them, give them a no-name treat. Nothing says “I value your service and hard work” like the cheapest version of ice cream/chips/granola bars you can buy. How incredibly motivating!!!!

- When your company listens to the consultant they hired and mandates that all employees must track every minute of their work day including trips to the washroom, phone calls and casual conversations with colleagues. They must then enter that information into an Excel spreadsheet to send to their manager at the end of every day. In case you’re wondering, stop watches were used to track the time and the actual time spent tracking the time is 30 minutes per day.

- When the President of your company thinks it would make a nice Christmas gift to give all staff the book he wrote as a Christmas gift… two years in a row.

- When the President of your company writes ANOTHER book and he decides it would make a nice Christmas gift to give all staff the book as a Christmas present. Do you know what I’m expecting this year for Christmas?

Creating Ineffective Work Relationships

NEW Management Seminar!

Conflict in the workplace is something every organization strives for. It’s an important component of employee well-being, satisfaction and often leads to productivity in the workplace. Many employers struggle with how to create tension and poor relationships in the organization. In this seminar, we will share research and strategies that managers can use to let tension, bitterness and negativity thrive in their organizations.

Participants will learn:

• How to develop initiatives that breed resentment and antagonism amongst employees.
• How to create alliances with a handful of colleagues in order to spread rumours and lies about other co-workers.
• What tactics management can use to turn good, hard-working and dedicated employees into demoralized, apathetic and stressed out individuals who dread coming to work. Particular focus will be given on how to secretly steal their ideas and pass them off as theirs, “reward” them with a miniscule raise, give them an unreasonable amount of work, and withhold all positive feedback.
• What factors strain work relationships and how management can create more of these ineffective relationships. A case study involving a situation where a senior manager openly put down one group of employees in front of another group of employees will be analyzed and discussed.
  
  Register soon as space is limited. Don’t miss your opportunity to discover the power of destructive and conflict-laden work relationships in your organization! Remember, it’s not work if there’s no conflict.

Beautiful and Practical Desk Organization Strategies

Since I published my Oct 2 blog, Does Your Desk Need a Makeover, I have been inundated with readers asking for more information on how to keep a messy and disorganized work space.

Here are a few more tips I can share:

1. Eliminate all desk organizers and file folders. These are huge barriers to a messy desk. Plus filing is tedious and boring just like the rest of your job. Why would you want more of that in your life?
   


2. Keep your letter tray full. Never ever discard documents. Keep items like memos, print-outs and random things in piles on your desk. Not only will this add much needed clutter to your desk, but the extra paper has an added benefit: it will camouflage you so your co-workers will not be able to see you when you’re at the desk. They will just see a huge mess. Avoiding your colleagues means you won’t have to help them with a project or other distasteful , work-related, time wasters.
   


3. Keep all pens that have run out of ink. You don’t need them anymore but that doesn’t mean they should be discarded. Saving them provides a splash of colour and intrigue. Plus, it’s a way for you to remember all the good times you had using them at work. It helps cement those precious work memories deep into your cerebral cortex so when you’re old you can look back at that pen with fondness and relive the “good old days” you had at your desk.
   


4. Keep books, photos, and left over food wrappers on your desk. You’ve likely read other articles which encourage you to hide, minimize or dispose of these items. Let’s dig a little deeper and see what’s really going on here (note: Dr Phil would encourage us to do this). Hiding your books indicates you’re afraid to let people know that you read. This is something to be proud of. Don’t hide that fact. And don’t be ashamed of those photos of your loved ones even though they may not be attractive. Sure you could have done better and married someone hotter but you didn’t. Display those pictures proudly. And for heaven’s sake, having a candy bar wrapper on your desk shows you are really trying to fill your body with enough sugar so you can plow through all that work the company is making you do at your lower-than-industry-standard salary.
   
   So remember, if someone tells says your desk is “messy” they are really saying it’s marvelously mesmerizing :-)

Motivation In the Workplace

My brother–in-law told me about this fantastic website http://www.despair.com/ where you can purchase very cool office accessories like posters, mousepads and calendars. These accessories are meant to demotivate you…similar to what the management of your company does. Please check out this site if you’re looking for a good laugh.

Here are some of my favourites:

Free Motivational Seminars by the DCW

One of the jobs the Dull Co-worker (DCW) is thinking of pursing is becoming a motivational speaker. I already have a list of all the seminars I’m planning on talking about and am proud to announce they will all be free of charge.

Here is my course catalogue:

The Secret: How to Keep the Weight On

Are you tired of being embarrassed by your six-pack abs? Are you ashamed because your body is constantly compared to that of a super model? Do you find it difficult to eat high fat, high calorie snacks because you’re always eating a perfect mix of fruits, vegetables and protein? Do you have a fast metabolism and are constantly described as "skinny" or "thin"? This workshop will unlock the "secret" so you can be more of who you already are!

If you find it difficult to keep weight on your hips, stomach and thighs, worry no more! Your instructor will share with you tips that are guaranteed to keep your Body Mass Index in the “heavy” to “obese” category. You will be taught the six step process of successful snacking on treats brimming with trans-fats and calories. You will be guided on how to stop eating just when you're hungry and learn the benefits of eating when you're already full. Strategies will also be shared on how to eat when you're frustrated, bitter, angry and sad.

Weight gain is guaranteed or your money back!

How to Develop Low Self-Esteem

Is your self-esteem too high? Many people struggle with loving themselves too much. In this session, you will learn several tools and approaches which you can use to decrease your self-image so you can think less of yourself.

By the end of this session, you will be able to:

• Let people walk all over you in the workplace and your personal life
• Say “yes” to every request by every person you meet and feel incredible guilt if you ever do say “no”
• Harshly criticize your body
• Compare yourself to others who are on TV, in the movies and in magazines in a way that makes you feel bad about yourself
• Increasingly think thoughts that will lead you to feel depressed and hopeless about yourself and your life
• Utlize passive-aggressive behaviour in most relationships and situations

Living the Lazy Life: Your Guide to a Below Par Existence!

Are you too active? Are you always running, playing sports, or going to the gym and never finding time to sit for hours and do absolutely nothing?

In this session you will:

• Learn the secrets to unlock the lethargy and laziness within
• Learn how to say “no” to the gym and say “yes” to the high blood pressure, poor circulation and plethora of diseases that come with a sedentary lifestyle
• Understand the importance of hours of watching TV, movies and surfing the internet
• Learn how to minimize your walking and all other exercise throughout the day to keep your activity level low

As an added bonus, your clothes may even become tighter prompting you to have to buy larger clothes! Space is limited so sign up today!

Imperfection is Perfect: Finding Your Inadequate Partner

Are you tired of finding love with wonderful people? Are you searching for that one perfect person who will annoy you like no other? So many people are stuck in relationships filled with love, kindness, respect and zero conflict. Take heart, there are others out there suffering just like you. They too are looking for someone to make them feel hate and repulsion they didn’t think was possible.

In this seminar, we will scientifically match you with people who are totally incompatible with you and with whom you have nothing in common. This matching model is based on absolutely no research and has proven to be 100% successful. Be lonely no more. Be miserable with someone else forever.

Does Your Desk Need a Make Over?

A friend of mine has a blog on home decor, called Hare Styling for the Home. It’s quite popular. Regrettably, her blog contains beautiful pictures of how to enhance your home décor and does not deal with how to add pizzazz to your workspace. Since most people spend approximately eight hours a day at work, the Dull Co-worker thinks it’s important to add some decorating flair to your desk. Let’s take a look at this season’s hottest desk decorating trends!

I do hate to brag, but my desk is a potpourri of style as you can see by the pictures below. Notice the cords and mouse strewn about in a haphazard manner. This creates visual interest for my colleagues as it goes against the typical symmetry and clean, open space of most desks. Like a fine piece of art, my desk leaves people with different impressions. Some might think to themselves: “she’s obviously busy….I should leave her alone. She’s really got it going on. Look, she doesn’t even have time to organize her desk. Impressive! I wish my desk could look like that!”

Colourful Desk Decor Accessories

Another item I’d like to draw attention to is the pile of coloured stars on the right hand side placed neatly on the ultra high quality stereo from Walmart (note: this is in no way an endorsement of Walmart or its products and I am no way responsible for any poor quality items purchased at Walmart across Canada or the U.S.).

The stars are for the “Star of the Day Award” I give to colleagues to motivate and show them my appreciation for a job well done. For example, if they use the word “jazzy “, “breezy” or “tornadic” unexpectedly, I could give them the Star of the Day Award. Or, if they are going for coffee and ask if they could get me some, the Star of the Day is in their future! Basically, the award is given in a whimsical manner. The criteria is in no way fixed or fair which can be frustrating to those who really do want to win this prestigious award (I will not go on and on about the time I gave myself my own award; that was quite the day!).

Other items include pictures of John Travolta in Saturday Night Fever with my head superimposed on his body. This was done by a co-worker after I one day wore the exact same outfit to work as Mr. Travolta was wearing in this picture (this was purely accidental!). Cheerful, vibrant yet sophisticated, this picture radiates the aura of fun and frivolity and still keeps the “I’m intelligent and can do this job” message.

Beside that on the right is a list of my ideas for R Magazine that I want to start one day. Thank goodness my name doesn’t start with an “O” like Oprah’s. Could you imagine the awkward conversation I’d have to have with Oprah telling her my magazine has the same name as hers?

Style Trend: The Classic Post-it Note

One accessory that never goes out of style is the ever in vogue Post-it note. In the above picture, notice the multitude of these shimmering squares of colour on the desk and on the wall. This is to symbolize the passion, energy and excitement of work.

The Post-it notes from a distance look like task reminders like “plan insurance liability seminar“ or "gather information on knob and tube wiring". In reality, the Post-it notes have random sayings like “I cannot text you with a drink in my hand -Lady Gaga.” Another Post-it says, “Stop callin’, stop callin’, I don’t wanna talk anymore” (another Gaga reference) which I sometimes post on my phone in an effort to telepathically communicate to would be callers that I really don’t want to talk to them about anything work related (the temptation to record “Telephone” as my voice message at work is overwhelming).

Multi-functional and Luxurious: Paper

Another lavish and chic desk accessory is paper. In the above picture you will see posted paper on the wall. One such paper includes the lyrics to Ke$ha’s hit song, Tik Tok. As I mentioned in my blog from January 14th, these lyrics were critical for my Tik Tok Lyric Initiative I employed in January.

I sent the Tik Tock lyrics to my co-workers and indicated everyone is to use a line from the song in all communications that day. For example, “Sara, can you please send me the stats. And by the way, I’m talking about everybody getting crunk, crunk…” or "Frankie, can you help me with this report cause when I leave for the night I ain't coming back..."(if you and your colleagues would like to take the Tik Tok Lyric Challenge, see my January 15th blog for the lyrics).

There’s also a copy of an email I sent to a co-worker asking him to hire me on the building services team (note: I am extremely NOT mechanical and lack building maintenance and assembly skills that would be required in this job...but as I noted in the posted email, I am good at dressing in business or casual attire and I excel at delegating to people who know what they're doing... shockingly, I did not get this job). What better way to brighten up your workspace then by advertising other job postings that you’ve applied for?

So now dear readers, feel empowered to reinvent and rejuvenate your workspace. Send in your desk photos for a chance to be featured in this blog. Who knows. Depending on how I’m feeling, you may even be granted the coveted Star of the Day Award. Happy Decorating!