My Productive Week At Work

Caution: Reading this blog will be more amusing if you meet one of the following criteria:
a) you’ve had a drink
b) you work in insurance and you’re reading this on a weekday after 4pm
c) you’re me

I don’t know about you but I find my work (i.e. being a virtual pillar of strength and fortitude at a small-medium sized not very well known insurance company) very inspiring and motivating. This week alone has encouraged me to start doing the following things:

1. Start taking smoke breaks in order to get more fresh air. I will start doing this when the weather gets warmer.

2.I’m going to start drinking on a regular basis. Before this week I was a social drinker. My week at work has taught me that I must start taking this more seriously. I’m starting what I’m going to call the Reverse 12 step program.
Step one, decide to take drinking seriously.
Step 2, find a sponsor. That way when I become an alcoholic, hit the bottom, then go to AA, I'll already be ahead of everyone.
Step 3, investigate where I’ll go for rehab.
Step 4, go to the LCBO at lunch to buy something to drink after work.
Step 5, Just get on that wagon. Here is my insight...in order to fall off the wagon you first need to get on it. Pretty deep, isn’t it?
Step 6, continue to work in insurance....this will lead to consumption of copious glasses of wine.

3. Finish the remaining steps of the reverse 12 step program.

4. Start an awards show at work where I win in every category. For example, Best Actress in an Insurance Drama; Best Insurance Alliance Leader, etc.

5. Create a Poor Performer of the Day award and give it out to a different coworker on a daily basis. Even poor performers need encouragement and reward.

6. Create more office politics
7. Learn more about demolition and debris removal...an ultra hot topic in the insurance world...note: not as hot as water damage!

So this is what I came up with this week. I can hardly wait for what I’ll do next week!