My questions

January is typically a time of year where many make New Years’ resolutions. Specifically, the topic on many people’s minds is how to lose weight.

My question: is it really that hard to figure out how to do this? Do we really need to read articles saying it’s better to drink water than pop or alcohol? Isn’t that basic common sense? Or instead of sitting on the couch and eating chips, experts shockingly advise us to try working out instead. Really. I am so thankful for these experts and their illuminating advice.

My next question: why aren’t people writing about the really tough issues in society like how to get fat, how to procrastinate or how to get into debt? Why is there no guidance for people who are on these quests? Why is no one leading these folks on their journey to enlightenment?

This is what I would like to see printed in magazines and news papers….an article on how to get fat. Why aren’t we as a society examining this in greater detail? Which is the most effective way to gain weight…fast food/take-out binges or a steady,complex combination of high sodium, high sugar and high fat products?

What are the benefits of constant emotional overeating combined with steady inactivity (where you make sure you never ever in any circumstance get your heart rate in your heart rate target zone and constantly stay true to all excuses as to why you can’t possibly exercise…i.e. my car insurance is due or I stubbed my toe when I was a child and so exercising is dangerous to that appendage, etc.)?

And how do I strive to increase my body fat on certain areas of my body (e.g. hips, thighs, butt) to ensure I don’t fit into that dress and I can go buy another dress?

These are my questions….along with how can I efficiently and successfully procrastinate especially at work?