Today's Work Horrorscope

On the astrological calendar, today is a very special day. No matter what your sign, all horrorscopes are the same due to the moon and Jupiter, your lucky planetary ruler, hitting your work sector.

Today, will be another stellar experience but you will encounter some challenges. Malarkey will govern your early working hours so pay close attention to ensure you don't spill your coffee. You will experience a situation where someone at work does or says something incredibly stupid and their incompetence affects you.

You will have some sort of computer or even a printer problem that will frustrate you. You'll have to call your IT department who will explain how to fix the problem in a language you don't understand (i.e. technical jargon that makes no sense to common folk). You'll be in a "required" meeting which will seem like a colossal waste of time.

Fortunately, because Saturn is aligning with Taurus (you know what that means!), you will be experiencing great abundance in the paper department. More people than ever will be dropping off paperwork at your desk which you can use to maintain the "I do so much work" image.

Also, all attempts to effectively communicate with those around you will be stymied by passive-aggressiveness but you will overcome this on the drive home from work as you display outright aggressiveness towards other drivers.

Finally, if today is your birthday, know that you share it with such esteemed celebrities as Charlie Sheen, Lindsay Lohan and Snooki.