How to Endure a Dull Conference

I have been at a conference for work this week. Fortunately it turned around but the first day I attended some thoroughly dull seminars. If you're ever in the same situation, try out some of the following techniques:

Continuously whisper to the person next to you and be shushed by a person 3 rows ahead of you. Then try to avoid the shusher for the remainder of the conference.

Remind yourself to always sit by the isle so you can make any easy escape. Never ever sit in the middle of the row (this is the most unsafe conference position because you are trapped).

Weigh the pros and cons of playing Brick Breaker on your BlackBerry in this scenario. Will others around you see what you're doing? Does it matter if they do?

Wonder if everyone else who appears to be listening is really faking it like you.

Contemplate why they decided to give us oatmeal and raisin cookies at lunch. It makes no sense when a chocolate chip cookie could be given instead. Raisins are so controversial but who can resist a cookie overflowing with chocolate chips?.

Tell people you are from Santiago, Chile even though you’re from Canada. See if anyone will challenge you because you are fair skinned with blond hair, blue eyes and you don’t speak Spanish.

Steal a ribbon that says “Award Winner” and place it on your name badge. If people ask what award you've one, make something up.

Pretend to be taking notes but write a blog post.