Looking For a Promising New Career?

Question: What do you do when you work in the insurance industry and you’re bored?

 Answer: You come up with an idea to start a competing insurance company!

 Idea (please don’t take it because it’s really good and I know you’ll want to take but please don’t):

 Start a Canadian Insurance company called Neutral Mutual Insurance (NMI) with a tag line “Say that 10 times fast!” WOW! Pretty powerful! Isn’t it?

 I would love to take credit for this brilliant idea but I can’t. My life manager is the genius behind this epic idea!

The Neutral Mutual Mission: To provide insurance solutions through our regressive ideas.

Why would we choose this strategy? So many companies are bragging they are “paperless.” In reality, these “paperless” companies create TONS of paper! Who actually believes any company is paperless...please! Give people some credit! Anyways, the Neutral Mutual Insurance Company (of which I am the VP of Human Resources) is PRO paper! We use paper and we are proud of it! In fact, we don’t use computers. We are old school. We have old fashioned values and regressive ideas! We type on a typewriter. We write memos and carbon paper!!

While most insurance companies give their insured’s policy wordings which are pages long and very boring to read (have you read yours for your home, auto or business policy?), at Neutral Mutual, we’ve decided to do away with such things. Instead of policy wordings, we are going to have policy words!  Another fab idea from our CEO!

 

Policy words like cat, house or mafia. Those are words that our company will give to our insureds instead of policy wordings describing what the insurance covers (that is SO overdone!). We will all have actual dictionaries on our desks in case we run out of words!  I know what you’re thinking....it’s AWESOME (hey, that could be one of our policy words!).  

 
If you are looking for a new job, consider joining this promising new venture! As I said, the job of CEO and VP or HR is already taken. We also have a Director of Regression (DOR). Most companies have people in charge of innovation. We are going backwards! Let’s regress! Why move forward just because it’s popular! Let’s pave a new path! Anyways, that job is taken as is the job of Secretary.

 So if you are looking for a promising new career, look no further. Apply to Neutral Mutual today by emailing NeutralMutualInsurance(SayThatTenTimesFast)@IamsoboredatworkthatIcomeupwiththesecrazyideas.com. Your future has never looked so backwards.