Milk It For All It's Worth

Now that I'm done the cleanse, I'm back on the dairy. One of the things that drives me mad though is opening milk cartons. Or should I say struggling to open milk cartons. Am I the only one who struggles with this?

Why do they have to use super-strength glue? Are these the same people who make the impenetrable plastic that protects the hotel room soap (for more on this, see my November 16th blog)?

In order to save my fellow man from this plight, I just sent the following email to the Dairy Board of Canada:

Dear Dairy Board of Canada,

I am a big fan of your product, however, I do have a grievance. Why is the glue on the cartons of milk so strong that it's difficult to open the carton? Why after all these years and all the available technology in the world can you not come up with milk cartons that are easier to open?

It is frustrating sometimes and I don't understand why it has to be this way. Are there any plans on changing the packaging in the near future or should I just switch to soy milk? The soy milk manufacturers really have great packaging for their product.

Thank you so much for your consideration of this matter.


To be continued....

Who Needs a Library Card?

Who needs a library card when you have a world of poignant literary classics at work...

You can't help but see the intrigue, drama and possibly even romance in these work place manuals...

Big-Calf-High-Boot Update

If you read my blog from the other week (Big Calves & High Boots Don't Mix), I'm sure you're dying to know what has transpired in this area of my life (I guess what I'm assuming is that your life is as dull as mine...sorry about that).

Well, it seems like not even my best friend realized the gravity of this situation. Because the picture I included in the blog had a picture of me wearing pants and not being able to zip up my boots, she thought I only encountered this problem when wearing jeans or pants.


Truth be told, I should have been more clear. I encounter this problem of not being able to zip up my high boots even on my bare skin! Yes! It's true! I'm embarrassed and frustrated by my big calves. It's not fair I'm not one of those skinny calved women. I work out, try to eat right and yet nothing I do can make my calves smaller. Why???

I also want to mention how I was fascinated by the popularity of that post. Perhaps others out there are experiencing the same thing. Maybe they are moved by my shocking disclosure about this highly-sensitive-yet-severly-underpublicized-due-to-excessive-Kim-Kardashian-coverage issue. I can only hope this message reverberates around the globe and boot companies everywhere make wider boots....then we can all zip up a little easier.

The Unwanted Volunteer

I don't know what the deal is with all the places I've offered to volunteer at in the past few years. I've been rejected from at least four different organizations that have expressed a need for volunteers.

I've tried for years to assist at some of these non-profit organizations (I'm persistent!) and they tell me that my help is not needed (they lie because I hear radio ads for some of them saying they need help).

Or they say they will contact me in the "future"and the "future" never seems to come. This sounds suspiciously like the men who've said to me "Let's get together sometime. I'll call you." But the call doesn't come. Perhaps these non-profit organizations think I'm trying to get a date. Maybe they think I'm confusing their organization with eHarmony. Could that be the problem?

I know what you're thinking. It's me. It's not them, it's me. Could this have something to do with my unusually big calves and my boots that don't zip up? Seriously people, what does this say about me? Do you know how hard it is on one's self-esteem when no one wants your help and you're offering your time and effort for free...they're not even paying you. It's tough being repeatedly rejected like this.

Maybe I'll seek counselling from a therapist to help sort this out. Or maybe I'll just show up at their organization and help anyways. Or maybe I'll just sit on the couch and watch Oprah while eating gluten free snacks and bingeing on herbal tea. That will show them!

Survival of the Fittest

One of my dear friends has a blog called Simply Nature where she shares beautiful pictures she's taken of birds, animals, and nature scenes. I was joking with her the other day that I will have an Office Nature segment on my blog. She thought I was kidding...until today!

As luck would have it, my brother-in-law just sent me this picture of two plants that are in his boardroom at work. Office Nature at it's best!

Does this mean his workplace is choking the life out of every living thing? He writes, "I guess in business some survive and some don't. This applies to the plant world as well."

Great observation and great picture (note: this is why it's essential companies give employees BlackBerries...so they can use them to take important pictures like this).

If you have any moving or entrancing work scenes from your office that you'd like to share with the world, get out your iPhone or BlackBerry, snap a picture when no one is looking and send it to thedullcoworker@gmail.com.

How to Make an Impact at Your Next Meeting

Are you wanting to impress your co-workers at your next meeting or company lunch? Why not try these simple and stylish tumblers for your beverages:

Accent the tumblers with ultra-chic coasters made from eco-friendly, paper towelling gently torn at the edges to create a classy finish:

This is So Hot

For the past couple of months I've been going to Bikram hot yoga classes. They are 90 minutes long and made up of a series of 26 poses which are done in a room which is heated to about 95- 100 Farenheit.

There are numerous benefits of doing this class one of which is to detoxify the body. If you've read my last two blogs, you'll see that apparently I'm really into detoxifying lately (even though I seem to enjoy ingesting toxins).

What I do like about the class is that I leave feeling incredibly calm and relaxed (likely this could be achieved by simply having a glass of wine but for some reason I didn't think of that before I joined the studio...bummer).

These types of classes are very different than most yoga classes or fitness classes. In an effort to keep my readers informed, I am sharing my obeservations:

1. Most people who go to these classes, especially the regulars, are basically naked. I envy their comfort with their bodies and their ability to strip down to next than nothing in front of strangers. Sadly, there's no one who looks like Jake Gylenhal or Ryan Renyolds in any of the classes I've attended. Their lack of a wardrobe also gets me thinking...will I one day be one of these people? I currently have a strong attachment to clothing when in public. Not sure if that makes me odd or not.
   
   
2. One of the male instructors wears a Speedo-like bottom and nothing else. Am I the only one who finds this distracting, perplexing and even a tad disturbing?
   
   
3. The teachers are mean. They don't let you talk, wipe the sweat from your brow and you can only drink water when told. They also tell you not to leave the room. It's like you're in the military. Yet we all put up with this. Why? Why don't we all revolt? What would they do...not let us practice yoga?
   
   
4. The yoga people are very serious. Smiling is rare. I try to smile as much as possible just to throw everyone off.
   
   
5. Apparently the studio I'm at was rated one of the top places in my city to pick up. Really? I'm covered in sweat, my mascara is running so I look like I'm part of a low-grade-Canadian-horror flick and my hair is wet and dishelved . Plus, I'm pretty sure I'm not smelling the best. And I'm hoping a man finds me attractive like this...how desparate would he have to be?